Here’s a terrible fact: 22% of men say that they’ve cheated on a significant other, while only 14% of women have. Simply put: men in a marriage or relationship are more likely to cheat than their wives.
It’s not something that happens by accident, and it’s definitely not something that is just «out of the blue». There are always signs a married man is attracted to you, is thinking about you, and is probably hoping or planning to sleep with you. Knowing the signs to watch out for can help you to avoid falling into bed with the wrong man and unwittingly becoming a home-wrecker.
Here are the signs a married man is attracted to you:
- He finds excuses to spend time with you.
Whether it’s at work, hanging out with friends, or one on one, it’s a pretty clear sign that he’s more interested in you than he should be. Maybe he goes out of his way to swing by your office cubicle, or he comes to work out at the gym at the same time you do. He does whatever he can to spend time with you—a clear warning sign if ever there was one!
- He’ll try to get you alone.
It’s difficult to flirt in a social setting with his friends, coworkers, or spouse around, so he’ll make excuses or try to find clever ways to get you alone. That way, he’ll be able to put the moves on you without worrying about anyone telling his wife or judging him.
- His body language will scream attraction.
There are certain subtle signals that the body uses to display attraction: touching his hair or face, fidgeting, holding your eye contact for longer than usual, turning toward you completely, leaning forward to get closer to you, standing in a position that makes him look taller and stronger, and the list goes on. Watch his body—it will speak the loudest and let you know if he’s actually attracted to you or not.
- He’ll make physical contact.
Guys can be physical with their buddies: slapping backs, punching arms, nudging shoulders, and so on. With women, however, they’re far less physical—unless, of course, there is some attraction there. When they’re attracted to women, they’ll make contact with the wrists, the forearms, the upper arms, the shoulders, the back, the sides, or even the waist. If he’s making more physical contact than would be considered «normal», it’s a pretty clear sign.
- He texts you often.
There is a normal amount of texting that should go on between coworkers and friends, and then there’s the sort of texting that occurs between people who are attracted to each other. It’s cool if he sends you the occasional funny picture or GIF to make you laugh, but there comes a point that it crosses from «texting between friends or coworkers» into «texting to move things along». If he texts you more than he texts his spouse, it’s a pretty clear sign!
- He talks about sex, love, and attraction.
People only become friends when they talk about the deeper things in life, but there comes a point when it’s clear that it’s going beyond «getting to know you». He may steer the conversation toward things of a sexual nature, your sexual preferences, likes, dislikes, sexual history, and so on. He may also begin to talk about love, relationships, and attraction. Basically, it’s his way of feeling you out and getting to know you better on the topic he’s most interested in: his attraction to you.
- He avoids talking about his personal life.
This is a pretty clear sign that he’s into you. He wants you to forget that he’s married and/or has a family, so he’ll avoid talking about his life at home, his kids, and especially his spouse. Everything will always be about you, which can be flattering until you remember that it’s his way of hiding the fact that he’s married.
- He buys you gifts.
Yeah, it’s okay for buddies to buy gifts for their buddies or coworkers to buy gifts (on rare occasions like birthdays) for other coworkers, but take a look at the gift as well as the giver. If he does something «just because» or «he saw it and thought of you», that’s a pretty clear sign he’s into you. If the gift is even slightly intimate, personal, or suggestive in any way, that’s as clear as it gets!
- He’ll be interested in your dating life.
Maybe even a little too interested. Friends can ask other friends about their dating life, but if he becomes fascinated by who you’re seeing or how your current relationship or hook-up is going, it’s a sign there’s something more at play. He may be feeling you out to see how you feel about having a relationship with him, or if you’re even free to consider it.
- He’ll straight up tell you.
Yes, sometimes married men will be brazen enough to come out and tell you «I like you». Heck, he may even propose taking things beyond the level of simple friendship. When you ask him about his wife or family, he’ll make some excuse like «Our marriage is on the rocks and headed for divorce» or «We have an open relationship». If he says anything like «She doesn’t need to know», that’s a sign that he’s a straight up douchebag that is more interested in you as a sexual object than as a person.
If you get any of these signs from that married man in your social group or office, it’s a pretty clear indication that he’s into you. He may never actually admit he wants to get sexual with you, but he’s definitely thinking it.
It’s up to you to make it very clear to him: «There’s no way I want anything with a married man, so it’s time for you to back off and stop with the flirting!» Never get involved with a married man—it doesn’t end well for anyone.