All too often, we find ourselves asking questions like «Am I attractive?»
Modern life and social media have skewed our perspective to the point where we believe that you can only be successful according to how hot you are in real life. Unfortunate, but true!
Even worse, sites like Pretty Scale (prettyscale.com) exist as a means of «rating» your attractiveness according to your physical features only. Not only are these highly inaccurate, but they can also be very unhealthy and the opposite of what you need to feel good about yourself.
So how do you answer the question, «Am I beautiful or ugly?» Is there even an honest answer you can give? The truth may surprise you…
We Are Always More Critical
Whether you think you have a cute face or an ugly face, the truth is that your thoughts and feelings on the matter may be pretty skewed.
When you see yourself in the mirror every day, you notice every tiny zit, pimple, freckle, ingrown hair, or imperfection on your face. You notice when you’ve packed on an extra pound or lost a bit of your natural curvaceousness. You notice the flatness of your chest or butt, the way your stomach sags a bit more than you want, or how your muscles aren’t up to par.
Humans are highly critical creatures, and we are always most critical of ourselves. The fact that you see yourself every day means you see all those tiny imperfections.
Here’s something you might not know: other people aren’t looking at you like that!
Most likely, they’re looking at themselves as critical as you are, but when they look at you, they’re far less likely to see those details you’re fixated on. In fact, they probably wouldn’t even notice unless you called their attention to it.
You need to remember that you are the most critical person in your life, but just because you see a flaw, that doesn’t mean someone else will. Accept the things you believe are «flaws», and you may just find that they’re far less of an issue to someone else than you expect.
Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder
Yes, we’ve all heard the retort, «That’s just something ugly people say!»
But think about it: when you look at a person of your desired sex, do you notice their flaws and imperfections first? Or, do you notice the things that attract you to them?
Humans are driven by a subconscious need to find a mate, build a life together, and find a connection with someone else. We’re often willing to overlook things that could be perceived as «flaws» for that reason.
So, when you feel that guy or girl looking at you, remember that they’re not searching for flaws. They’re subconsciously looking for things that make you attractive to them, things that would encourage them to join their life with yours.
First we notice beauty, and only after do we begin to notice flaws. Remember that people are always going to look for your beauty first and you’ll start feeling a lot better about yourself.
Because trust me, you’ve definitely got something attractive that people will look for!
Physical Beauty is Just a Part
You may look in the mirror and be absolutely horrified by your reflection. Even if no one else sees you with the same critical eyes with which you see yourself, it can be hard to look past the flaws that leap out at you.
Time to take a step back from the mirror and think about the last person you were attracted to or in love with.
Yes, physical attraction had a significant role to play in it. When you looked at his muscles or her curves, you couldn’t help feeling stimulated physically.
But that physical attraction is just Step 1. Once your eye has been arrested, you found yourself drawn to other parts of them: their personality, their intellect, their sense of humor, their passion for life, their drive and enthusiasm, and a thousand other little things that had nothing to do with their outward appearance.
It’s funny, but those little things are the ones that often play the most significant role in attraction. Many men and women can’t stay in a relationship with the most beautiful person in their lives, but they end up getting married and starting families with people that wouldn’t be considered «conventionally attractive».
How could that happen?
Simple: physical appearance is just Step 1.
A relationship or marriage isn’t built on the way your face or body looks. Instead, it’s built on how that person makes you feel, how they help you, and the way you work with each other to create a shared life. You could be with the «ugliest» person in the world, but if they give you what you need, they will end up being the love of your life.
You may be the most beautiful person in the world, but if you’ve got nothing more to offer than your looks, you’re never going to find that special someone who loves you for who you are.
Stop worrying about whether or not someone will find you attractive because of your physical appearance. In the end, physical appearances mean next to nothing.
Remember: You ARE Beautiful
That’s right; you are beautiful!
Screw all of those things you see as flaws or imperfections. Stop worrying about them, because there are things about you—your body, your facial features, your mind, and your personality—that makes you beautiful.
None of us are perfect, so stop worrying about that! There will always be someone better-looking, stronger, taller, sexier, wealthier, or smarter than you, so why bother trying to outdo everyone?
You are attractive, you can bet on that! You may not feel attractive right now, but that’s just your critical self-talk getting in the way.
Once you realize that doubt and insecurity only affect your inside, not your external beauty, you’ll see the truth: you are attractive!