Women with smaller boobs always look with envy at women with big breasts. They think «If I had those, I would draw so much more attention and be so much more appealing!»
Let’s get one thing straight: there are advantages to having big boobs. Yes, men and women do tend to stare more, and there is a belief that big breasts appeal to the opposite sex.
But big boobs have their own set of problems, things that women with smaller, different types of tits will never experience. Here are a few of the most common big boob problems you didn’t know we struggled with:
Fewer bra options
Bra manufacturers have come up with literally thousands of ways to make smaller breasts look gorgeous, but bras for large-chested women tend to come in very few sizes, styles, and colors. Bra shopping is one of the most discouraging, frustrating, and irritating activities because it’s nearly impossible to find one that makes us look good. Worse, all the best bra designers stop at D cup, so we can never find anything half as good as we deserve. And the price tag? Get ready to pay 300 to 400% MORE for big-sized bras!
For real! If we want to run, we have to strap our breasts down under two or three high-tensile-strength sports bras, and even then there’s no guarantee they’ll stay in place. Running can be incredibly uncomfortable because gravity seems to hate our breasts.
Ever notice how we tend to wear high-cut shirts? If we don’t, it’s guaranteed that someone will comment on how big our breasts are. Heck, even a high-cut shirt that shows no cleavage is going to get some snarky remark, because that’s the #bigbooblife for you.
There’s no way to avoid pressing our boobs against our friends’ chests when we hug, so it can make things pretty darn awkward. With guys, it can add a bit of sexualization even when we’re just trying to be friendly. And don’t get us started on what it’s like trying to hug another equally big-boobed friend!
Limited clothing options
Jackets, shirts, and blazers tend to have a hard time buttoning up, so it’s nearly impossible to look like a classy professional. Even formal business dresses tend to have a hard time keeping everything under wraps. Loose tops look like curtains while tight tops look like something you’d see at a strip club, and built-in bra crop tops are an absolute joke. Thanks to our boobs, we almost look over-the-top sexy in the simplest clothing—great for bedroom fun, less so when we’re giving a presentation to our company’s CEO.
Uncomfortable sleep positions
We have yet to find a position that’s comfortable. If we lie on our back, gravity does cruel things to our boobs and pulls them to the side—or worse, up toward our necks to smother us in our sleep. Stomach sleeping is absolute agony, and sleeping on our sides means gravity is twisting our spine and increasing our risk of lower back problems.
The cleavage abyss
The pain is very real! Things tend to disappear into the abyss between our breasts, everything from crumbs to our car keys to that cash we tucked into our bra just in case of an emergency. Even the tiniest spill will turn into a very visible mess because the food is on the most visible part of our chests.
You don’t know true dread until you’re a large-breasted woman getting ready for a beach day. There is not a bikini in the world that is designed to fit big boobs. First there’s the problem of a generous top half but a smaller lower half, then there’s the issue of finding something that will actually contain all the extra boobage we’ve got going on.
Don’t forget the fact that all of that weight is resting on one tiny knot at the back of your neck, so get ready for some serious neck aches. Of course, everyone’s going to stare as we walk around, and the only way we can lie down in the sand is to LITERALLY dig two boob holes beneath us. Yes, there is a reason we avoid the beach!
Exercise is frustration
You can’t do push-ups because there is no space between your boobs and the floor, and you can’t do pull-ups because your breasts are too damned heavy for your muscles. All lower body exercises are challenging because the balance of your body is shifted awkwardly to the front. And don’t even get us started on what kind of cardio to do that will give us a workout without making our boobs bounce and attract the attention of every guy and girl in the gym.
The «size» question
For some reason, people seem to think it’s okay to ask what bra size you are, like the fact that your boobs are so «in their face» makes them public property. Guys and girls both get a bit nosy when they see your breast size, but you don’t go around asking what size they are, right?
People have a misguided notion that larger breasts are more sensitive boobs, like size is directly linked to the presence of nerve endings. Even if our boobs are sensitive, that doesn’t mean they deserve all the attention when it comes to foreplay. There are other more sensitive body parts that could do a lot more for us!
Then there are the guys who look at the large boobs like a gazelle staring at a lion, as if they’re afraid we’re going to smother them to death. They’re just boobs, guys!
The terror of pregnancy
God forbid you should ever get pregnant, because who knows what will happen if your boobs start to grow. They’re big enough, dammit!
Yes, big breasts may look great, but they bring more than their share of big boob problems. Be happy with the size you have, because things could always be harder!